Men are self-confident because they grow up identifying with super-heroes. Women have bad self-images because they grow up identifying with Barbie.
Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother's tasted better the day before.
My mother was the worst cook ever. In school, when we traded lunches, I had to throw in an article of clothing.
My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at her house is a time of sorrow.
When men break up they want to remain friends. Why? Why can't they just get lost?
If you like easygoing, monogamous men, stay away from billionaires.