A man will go to war, fight and die for his country. But he won't get a bikini wax.

Men who write love letters don't live in this century.

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives.

Los Angeles is a very transient town. It's the only place I know where you can actually rent a dog.

My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at her house is a time of sorrow.

The logic was, there weren't too many female comedians, so I thought I might as well try a field that had fewer competitors than the field I was in, which was acting, singing and dancing.

Men don't mature. Marry a younger one.