Men who can eat anything they want and not gain weight should do it out of sight of the women they're married to.

Men are sensitive in strange ways. If a man has built a fire and the last log does not burn, he will take it personally.

Natural childbirth scares me. I think before you have natural childbirth you should find out how big the baby is. Three pounds -- natural childbirth. Anything over three pounds -- heroin.

I have been doing leg lifts faithfully for about fifteen years, and the only thing that has gotten thinner is the carpet where I have been doing the leg lifts.

When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.

Men like to barbecue. Men will cook if danger is involved.

Men are self-confident because they grow up identifying with super-heroes. Women have bad self-images because they grow up identifying with Barbie.