How can I have morning sickness when I don't get up till noon?

We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet - so we bought a dog. Well, it's cheaper, and you get more feet.

Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy, the first question I ask myself is: is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

Human nature is largely something that has to be overcome.

Wives are people who think it's against the law not to answer the phone when it rings.

The logic was, there weren't too many female comedians, so I thought I might as well try a field that had fewer competitors than the field I was in, which was acting, singing and dancing.