How can I have morning sickness when I don't get up till noon?

Men are self-confident because they grow up identifying with super-heroes. Women have bad self-images because they grow up identifying with Barbie.

Halloween was confusing. All my life my parents said, "Never take candy from strangers." And then they dressed me up and said, "Go beg for it." I didn't know what to do. I'd knock on people's doors and go, "Trick or treat."

Men love watches with multiple functions. My husband has one that is a combination address book, telescope and piano.

Life is tough enough without having someone kick you from the inside.

My father watched football with the sound off because he lived in fear of hearing the voice of Howard Cosell.

Waiters and waitresses are becoming nicer and much more caring. I used to pay my check, they would say "Thank you." That's now escalated into "You care care of yourself, now." The other day I paid my check and the waiter said, "Don't put off that mammogram."