I have been doing leg lifts faithfully for about fifteen years, and the only thing that has gotten thinner is the carpet where I have been doing the leg lifts.

I don't look back. I'm like a shark - I only look forward.

Marrying a divorced man is ecologically responsible; in a world where there are more women than men, it pays to recycle.

When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.

My parents were glad to see that my new husband looks like a 'regular guy'-no earring or anything. But really I think a man with an earring is better prepared for marriage. I mean, he's already experienced pain and bought jewelry.

I burned sixty calories. That should take care of a peanut I had in 1962.

Human nature is largely something that has to be overcome.