If your husband has difficulty getting to sleep, the words 'we need to talk about our relationship' may help.

I had the most boring office job in the world...I used to clean the windows on envelopes.

I can see close up and my husband can see far away, so we're covered. He tells me who's in the movie and I tell him what's in his sandwich. Together we're human bifocals.

Don't try to teach men how to do anything in public. They can learn in private; in public they have to know.

If you like easygoing, monogamous men, stay away from billionaires.

I was a ballerina. I had to quit after I injured a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.

Men do not like to admit to even momentary imperfection. My husband forgot the code to turn off the alarm. When the police came, he wouldn't admit he'd forgotten the code... he turned himself in.