My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head.

You know the oxygen masks on airplanes? I don't think there's really any oxygen. I think they're just to muffle the screams.

My Vegas act is how I make my money.

When I was a kid, I had two friends, and they were imaginary and they would only play with each other.

They usually have two tellers in my local bank, except when it's very busy, when they have one.

Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few times.

Not one man in a beer commercial has a beerbelly.