I got kicked out of ballet class because I pulled a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.

Life is tough enough without having someone kick you from the inside.

Men hate to lose. I once beat my husband at tennis. I asked him, "Are we going to have sex again?" He said, "Yes, but not with each other."

In high school I was voted the girl most likely to become a nun. That may not be impressive to you, but it was quite an accomplishment at the Hebrew Academy.

I'm going to start water skiing someday...as soon as I can separate it from being dragged by a boat.

When men break up they want to remain friends. Why? Why can't they just get lost?

Oh, my God. I've just told you how old I am. Nobody knows how old I am. I'm going to have to kill you now.