I got kicked out of ballet class because I pulled a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.

How can I have morning sickness when I don't get up till noon?

Be careful of men who are bald and rich; the arrogance of "rich" usually cancels out the nice of "bald".

Men don't feel the urge to get married as quickly as women do because their clothes all button and zip in the front. Women's dresses usually button and zip in the back. We need men emotionally and sexually, but we also need men to help us get dressed.

When I was a kid, I had two friends, and they were imaginary and they would only play with each other.

Most women are introspective: "Am I in love? Am I emotionally and creatively fulfilled?" Most men are outrospective: "Did my team win? How's my car?"

I just love dogs, and there really is no better companion than an animal.