It must be a source of great chagrin to those in charge to think of so many people being able to stick a stamp on a letter and drop it in a mail box without any trouble or suffering at all. They are probably working on a system this very minute, trying to devise some way in which the public can be made to fill out a blank, stand in line, consult some underling who will refer him to a superior, and then be made to black up with burned cork before they can mail a letter.

Every boy should have two things: a dog and a mother who lets him have one

A great many people have come up to me and asked how I manage to get so much work done and still keep looking so dissipated.

The only cure for a real hangover is death.

There is probably no moment more appalling than that in which the tongue comes suddenly upon the ragged edge of a space from which the old familiar filling has disappeared.

Next to an old-fashioned church social, or possibly a monster bridge party, there is no buzz which can equal the sibilant buzz ofa matinée.

There is probably no more obnoxious class of citizen, taken end for end, than the returning vacationist.