I'm beginning to wonder about my broker. Yesterday I told him to buy a hundred shares of A.T.&T. He said, 'Would you spell that?'

I value people with a conscience. It's like a beeper from God.

There are days when it takes all you've got just to keep up with the losers.

Washington is a place where politicians don't know which way is up and taxes don't know which way is down.

To reduce stress, avoid excitement. Spend more time with your spouse.

I remember when humor was gentle pokes. I used to call it 'arm around the shoulder' humor. Now they go for the jugular and they take no prisoners. It's mean, mean stuff.

I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home.