A toast to the weapons of war, may they rust in peace.
Love is so confusing - you tell a girl she looks great and what's the first thing you do? Turn out the lights!
Live your life so that if someone says 'Be yourself' it's good advice.
Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian.
I remember when humor was gentle pokes. I used to call it 'arm around the shoulder' humor. Now they go for the jugular and they take no prisoners. It's mean, mean stuff.
Don't smoke too much, drink too much, eat too much or work too much. We're all on the road to the grave - but there's no need to be in the passing lane.