The Playboy Calendar this year has some tiptop models. Any more top and they'd tip.

I don't want to say anything about my kids...but I go to PTA meetings under an assumed name!

I'm beginning to wonder about my broker. Yesterday I told him to buy a hundred shares of A.T.&T. He said, 'Would you spell that?'

Have you noticed when you go on a diet, the first thing you lose is your temper.

There are only two kinds of people in this world. The realists and the dreamers. The realists know where they are going and the dreamers have already been there.

I always wondered why babies spend so much time sucking their thumbs. Then I tasted baby food.

Here's to all volunteers, those dedicated people who believe in all work and no pay.