A vacation is having nothing to do and all day to do it in.

I got a Valentine's Day card from my girl. It said, 'Take my heart! Take my arms! Take my lips!' Which is just like her. Keeping the best part for herself.

Vacation: When you spend thousands of dollars to see what rain looks like in different parts of the world.

Successful salesman: someone who has found a cure for the common cold shoulder.

Faith, indeed, has up to the present not been able to move real mountains.... But it can put mountains where there are none. Most people would like to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch.

Planned obsolescence is not really a new concept. God used it with people.

Do you ever get the feeling that the only reason we have elections is to find out if the polls were right?