I understand the big food companies are developing a tearless onion. I think they can do it - after all, they've already given us tasteless bread.

Do you realize that in the past sixty years, the only foreigners the French have been able to drive out are American tourists?

I love to watch those old movies on late-night television, particularly when a couple get up from a champagne dinner in a posh restaurant and the hero hands the waiter $3. But the best part is when he says, "Keep the change."

Humor starts like a wildfire, but then continues on, smoldering, smoldering for years.

We have enough people who tell it like it is - now we could use a few who tell it like it can be.

The true test of humility is whether you can say grace before eating crow.

To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so.