I feel that if God had really wanted us to have enough oil, he would never have given us a Department of Energy.

I love to watch those old movies on late-night television, particularly when a couple get up from a champagne dinner in a posh restaurant and the hero hands the waiter $3. But the best part is when he says, "Keep the change."

Humor starts like a wildfire, but then continues on, smoldering, smoldering for years.

An economist is someone who knows all the answers to last years' questions.

Live your life so that if someone says 'Be yourself' it's good advice.

I'm beginning to wonder about my broker. Yesterday I told him to buy a hundred shares of A.T.&T. He said, 'Would you spell that?'

I'd like to say a few words about one of the most popular concepts in the modern education--show and tell. Show and Tell is a device created by grammar schools to communicate family secrets to 32 other families before 9:15 am in the morning.