I feel that if God had really wanted us to have enough oil, he would never have given us a Department of Energy.

To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so.

There are only two kinds of people in this world. The realists and the dreamers. The realists know where they are going and the dreamers have already been there.

An economist is someone who knows all the answers to last years' questions.

Thanks to modern medicine we are no longer forced to endure prolonged pain, disease, discomfort and wealth.

In prehistoric times, mankind often had only two choices in crisis situations: fight or flee. In modern times, humor offers us a third alternative; fight, flee - or laugh.

Inflation is bringing us true democracy. For the first time in history, luxuries and necessities are selling at the same price.