When we laugh we temporarily give ourselves over to the person who makes us laugh.

I don't see why religion and science can't cooperate. What's wrong with using a computer to count our blessings?

A sigh is an amplifier for people who suffer in silence.

I had a terrible fight with my wife on New Year's Eve. She called me a procrastinator. So I finished addressing the Christmas cards and left.

I remember when humor was gentle pokes. I used to call it 'arm around the shoulder' humor. Now they go for the jugular and they take no prisoners. It's mean, mean stuff.

Love is so confusing - you tell a girl she looks great and what's the first thing you do? Turn out the lights!

The Playboy Calendar this year has some tiptop models. Any more top and they'd tip.