An economist is someone who knows all the answers to last years' questions.

A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that 'individuality' is the key to success.

I always wondered why babies spend so much time sucking their thumbs. Then I tasted baby food.

There are only two kinds of people in this world. The realists and the dreamers. The realists know where they are going and the dreamers have already been there.

Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.

The Playboy Calendar this year has some tiptop models. Any more top and they'd tip.

Most people would like to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch.