There's so much pollution in the air now that if it weren't for our lungs there'd be no place to put it all.

Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.

THe world now has so many problems that if Moses had come down from Mount Sinai today, the two tablets he'd carry would be aspirin.

These detective series on TV always end at precisely the right moment-after the criminal is arrested and before the court turns him loose.

Life was a lot simpler when what we honored was father and mother rather than all major credit cards.

To exercise is human; not to is divine.

The secret of writing comedy is to know where it's all going, then get ahead of it.