All that means is that something devastating can happen to you today or to your family & all you can do is cry about it or panic or just be grief-stricken about it; but a year or two from now or maybe ten years from now, or maybe two months or two days, you might be able to see the humor in that problem.

I should warn you that underneath these clothes I'm wearing boxer shorts and I know how to use them.

The true test of humility is whether you can say grace before eating crow.

There's so much pollution in the air now that if it weren't for our lungs there'd be no place to put it all.

Lincoln was known to have walked miles to borrow books, to get the most rudimentary form of education. So what do we do on his birthday? We close the schools!

Sports like baseball, basketball, and hockey develop muscles. That's why Americans have the strongest eyes in the world.

A compliment is verbal sunshine.