Most people would like to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch.

There's so much pollution in the air now that if it weren't for our lungs there'd be no place to put it all.

Did you hear about the woman who sent out 40,000 Valentine Cards doused in perfume and signed, "Guess Who?" She's a divorce lawyer.

Spring is God's way of saying, 'One more time!'

I feel that if God had really wanted us to have enough oil, he would never have given us a Department of Energy.

Inflation is bringing us true democracy. For the first time in history, luxuries and necessities are selling at the same price.

Noise pollution is a relative thing. In a city, it's a jet plane taking off. In a monastery, it's a pen that scratches.