A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that 'individuality' is the key to success.

If you can laugh together, you can work together.

Planned obsolescence is not really a new concept. God used it with people.

I may be forty, but every morning when I get up, I feel like a twenty-year-old. Unfortunately, there's never one around.

More than ever before, Americans are suffering from back problems: back taxes, back rent, back auto payments.

I love to watch those old movies on late-night television, particularly when a couple get up from a champagne dinner in a posh restaurant and the hero hands the waiter $3. But the best part is when he says, "Keep the change."

The best birthdays of all are those that haven't arrived yet.