I don't want to say anything about my kids...but I go to PTA meetings under an assumed name!

To exercise is human; not to is divine.

They say kids today don't know the value of a dollar. They certainly do know the value of a dollar. That's why they ask for five.

The chance to be seen as a warm, witty guy is too good an opportunity for a politician to miss.

Realists know where they're going. Dreamers have already been there.

It's amazing how important your job is when you want the day off - and how unimportant it is when you want a raise.

There are days when it takes all you've got just to keep up with the losers.