Lincoln was known to have walked miles to borrow books, to get the most rudimentary form of education. So what do we do on his birthday? We close the schools!

I remember when humor was gentle pokes. I used to call it 'arm around the shoulder' humor. Now they go for the jugular and they take no prisoners. It's mean, mean stuff.

A toast to the weapons of war, may they rust in peace.

Successful salesman: someone who has found a cure for the common cold shoulder.

Individuality' is the key to success.

The true test of humility is whether you can say grace before eating crow.

Happiness is contagious. Be a carrier!!