My wife never lies about her age. She just tells everyone she's as old as I am. Then she lies about my age.
When we laugh we temporarily give ourselves over to the person who makes us laugh.
The Playboy Calendar this year has some tiptop models. Any more top and they'd tip.
The secret of writing comedy is to know where it's all going, then get ahead of it.
The chance to be seen as a warm, witty guy is too good an opportunity for a politician to miss.
For Father's Day, my kids always give me a bottle of cologne called English Leather. It's appropriate! To them I always smell like a wallet.