I should warn you that underneath these clothes I'm wearing boxer shorts and I know how to use them.

Inflation is bringing us true democracy. For the first time in history, luxuries and necessities are selling at the same price.

If at first you don't succeed-try, try again. Don't think of it as failure. Think of it as timed-release success.

The chance to be seen as a warm, witty guy is too good an opportunity for a politician to miss.

Happiness is a very small desk and a very big wastebasket.

A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that 'individuality' is the key to success.

Do you ever get the feeling that the only reason we have elections is to find out if the polls were right?