If you can laugh together, you can work together.

If at first you don't succeed-try, try again. Don't think of it as failure. Think of it as timed-release success.

Have you noticed when you go on a diet, the first thing you lose is your temper.

There are only two kinds of people in this world. The realists and the dreamers. The realists know where they are going and the dreamers have already been there.

I don't want to say anything about my kids...but I go to PTA meetings under an assumed name!

Remember the days when you let your child have some chocolate if he finished his cereal? Now, chocolate is one of the cereals.

Did you hear about the woman who sent out 40,000 Valentine Cards doused in perfume and signed, "Guess Who?" She's a divorce lawyer.