A sigh is an amplifier for people who suffer in silence.

Did you hear about the woman who sent out 40,000 Valentine Cards doused in perfume and signed, "Guess Who?" She's a divorce lawyer.

Remember the days when you let your child have some chocolate if he finished his cereal? Now, chocolate is one of the cereals.

Realists know where they're going. Dreamers have already been there.

To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so.

Lincoln was known to have walked miles to borrow books, to get the most rudimentary form of education. So what do we do on his birthday? We close the schools!

Humor starts like a wildfire, but then continues on, smoldering, smoldering for years.