A sigh is an amplifier for people who suffer in silence.

A vacation is having nothing to do and all day to do it in.

I understand the big food companies are developing a tearless onion. I think they can do it - after all, they've already given us tasteless bread.

There's so much pollution in the air now that if it weren't for our lungs there'd be no place to put it all.

Vacation: When you spend thousands of dollars to see what rain looks like in different parts of the world.

It's an awful thing to grow old by yourself. My wife hasn't had a birthday in seven years.

If at first you don't succeed-try, try again. Don't think of it as failure. Think of it as timed-release success.