A sigh is an amplifier for people who suffer in silence.

Time flies. It's up to you to be the navigator.

I got a Valentine's Day card from my girl. It said, 'Take my heart! Take my arms! Take my lips!' Which is just like her. Keeping the best part for herself.

THe world now has so many problems that if Moses had come down from Mount Sinai today, the two tablets he'd carry would be aspirin.

Washington is a place where politicians don't know which way is up and taxes don't know which way is down.

The chance to be seen as a warm, witty guy is too good an opportunity for a politician to miss.

I remember when humor was gentle pokes. I used to call it 'arm around the shoulder' humor. Now they go for the jugular and they take no prisoners. It's mean, mean stuff.