Every speaker has a mouth; An arrangement rather neat. Sometimes it's filled with wisdom. Sometimes it's filled with feet.

Did you hear about the woman who sent out 40,000 Valentine Cards doused in perfume and signed, "Guess Who?" She's a divorce lawyer.

Do you realize that in the past sixty years, the only foreigners the French have been able to drive out are American tourists?

I should warn you that underneath these clothes I'm wearing boxer shorts and I know how to use them.

Washington is a place where politicians don't know which way is up and taxes don't know which way is down.

Realists know where they're going. Dreamers have already been there.

Here's to all volunteers, those dedicated people who believe in all work and no pay.