Humor starts like a wildfire, but then continues on, smoldering, smoldering for years.

Vacation: When you spend thousands of dollars to see what rain looks like in different parts of the world.

Did you hear about the woman who sent out 40,000 Valentine Cards doused in perfume and signed, "Guess Who?" She's a divorce lawyer.

Humor starts like a wildfire, but then continues on, smoldering, smoldering for years.

I got a Valentine's Day card from my girl. It said, 'Take my heart! Take my arms! Take my lips!' Which is just like her. Keeping the best part for herself.

Do you ever get the feeling that the only reason we have elections is to find out if the polls were right?

It's amazing how important your job is when you want the day off - and how unimportant it is when you want a raise.