Humor starts like a wildfire, but then continues on, smoldering, smoldering for years.

I got a Valentine's Day card from my girl. It said, 'Take my heart! Take my arms! Take my lips!' Which is just like her. Keeping the best part for herself.

For Father's Day, my kids always give me a bottle of cologne called English Leather. It's appropriate! To them I always smell like a wallet.

Lincoln was known to have walked miles to borrow books, to get the most rudimentary form of education. So what do we do on his birthday? We close the schools!

These detective series on TV always end at precisely the right moment-after the criminal is arrested and before the court turns him loose.

Economists can certainly disappoint you. One said that the economy would turn up by the last quarter. Well, I'm down to mine and it hasn't.

Did you ever get to wondering if taxation without representation might have been cheaper?