For Father's Day, my kids always give me a bottle of cologne called English Leather. It's appropriate! To them I always smell like a wallet.

These detective series on TV always end at precisely the right moment-after the criminal is arrested and before the court turns him loose.

I love to watch those old movies on late-night television, particularly when a couple get up from a champagne dinner in a posh restaurant and the hero hands the waiter $3. But the best part is when he says, "Keep the change."

I don't see why religion and science can't cooperate. What's wrong with using a computer to count our blessings?

Successful salesman: someone who has found a cure for the common cold shoulder.

Inflation is the crabgrass in your savings.

Happiness is contagious. Be a carrier!!