I had a terrible fight with my wife on New Year's Eve. She called me a procrastinator. So I finished addressing the Christmas cards and left.

More than ever before, Americans are suffering from back problems: back taxes, back rent, back auto payments.

A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that 'individuality' is the key to success.

Thanks to modern medicine we are no longer forced to endure prolonged pain, disease, discomfort and wealth.

I feel that if God had really wanted us to have enough oil, he would never have given us a Department of Energy.

Noise pollution is a relative thing. In a city, it's a jet plane taking off. In a monastery, it's a pen that scratches.

All that means is that something devastating can happen to you today or to your family & all you can do is cry about it or panic or just be grief-stricken about it; but a year or two from now or maybe ten years from now, or maybe two months or two days, you might be able to see the humor in that problem.