Don't smoke too much, drink too much, eat too much or work too much. We're all on the road to the grave - but there's no need to be in the passing lane.

Happiness is contagious. Be a carrier!!

Sometimes I get the feeling the whole world is against me, but deep down I know that's not true. Some of the smaller countries are neutral.

Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian.

I feel that if God had really wanted us to have enough oil, he would never have given us a Department of Energy.

THe world now has so many problems that if Moses had come down from Mount Sinai today, the two tablets he'd carry would be aspirin.

More than ever before, Americans are suffering from back problems: back taxes, back rent, back auto payments.