Don't smoke too much, drink too much, eat too much or work too much. We're all on the road to the grave - but there's no need to be in the passing lane.

I don't want to say anything about my kids...but I go to PTA meetings under an assumed name!

Do you ever get the feeling that the only reason we have elections is to find out if the polls were right?

Don't smoke too much, drink too much, eat too much or work too much. We're all on the road to the grave - but there's no need to be in the passing lane.

What bothers me about TV is that it tends to take our minds off our minds.

My wife never lies about her age. She just tells everyone she's as old as I am. Then she lies about my age.

I'm beginning to wonder about my broker. Yesterday I told him to buy a hundred shares of A.T.&T. He said, 'Would you spell that?'