Don't smoke too much, drink too much, eat too much or work too much. We're all on the road to the grave - but there's no need to be in the passing lane.

When we laugh we temporarily give ourselves over to the person who makes us laugh.

Successful salesman: someone who has found a cure for the common cold shoulder.

With my luck, if I ever invested in General Motors, they'd bust it to Corporal!

Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian.

Inflation is the crabgrass in your savings.

If you can laugh together, you can work together.