I got a Valentine's Day card from my girl. It said, 'Take my heart! Take my arms! Take my lips!' Which is just like her. Keeping the best part for herself.

They're combining that new fertility drug with a birth control pill for people who don't want triplets.

A vacation is having nothing to do and all day to do it in.

Noise pollution is a relative thing. In a city, it's a jet plane taking off. In a monastery, it's a pen that scratches.

There's so much pollution in the air now that if it weren't for our lungs there'd be no place to put it all.

Happiness is contagious. Be a carrier!!

When we laugh we temporarily give ourselves over to the person who makes us laugh.