It's amazing how important your job is when you want the day off - and how unimportant it is when you want a raise.

Happiness is a very small desk and a very big wastebasket.

Did you hear about the woman who sent out 40,000 Valentine Cards doused in perfume and signed, "Guess Who?" She's a divorce lawyer.

Do you realize that in the past sixty years, the only foreigners the French have been able to drive out are American tourists?

To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so.

Do you ever get the feeling that the only reason we have elections is to find out if the polls were right?

With my luck, if I ever invested in General Motors, they'd bust it to Corporal!