If you can get someone to laugh with you, they will be more willing to identify with you, listen to you. It parts the waters.

Inflation is the crabgrass in your savings.

Did you ever get to wondering if taxation without representation might have been cheaper?

The next time you feel like complaining, remember that your garbage disposal probably eats better than 30 percent of the people in the world

Do you ever get the feeling that the only reason we have elections is to find out if the polls were right?

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get.

I always wondered why babies spend so much time sucking their thumbs. Then I tasted baby food.