I'd like to say a few words about one of the most popular concepts in the modern education--show and tell. Show and Tell is a device created by grammar schools to communicate family secrets to 32 other families before 9:15 am in the morning.

Love is so confusing - you tell a girl she looks great and what's the first thing you do? Turn out the lights!

I don't want to say anything about my kids...but I go to PTA meetings under an assumed name!

Live your life so that if someone says 'Be yourself' it's good advice.

I had a terrible fight with my wife on New Year's Eve. She called me a procrastinator. So I finished addressing the Christmas cards and left.

They're combining that new fertility drug with a birth control pill for people who don't want triplets.

A compliment is verbal sunshine.