I'd like to say a few words about one of the most popular concepts in the modern education--show and tell. Show and Tell is a device created by grammar schools to communicate family secrets to 32 other families before 9:15 am in the morning.

Life was a lot simpler when what we honored was father and mother rather than all major credit cards.

Successful salesman: someone who has found a cure for the common cold shoulder.

I understand the big food companies are developing a tearless onion. I think they can do it - after all, they've already given us tasteless bread.

Do you realize that in the past sixty years, the only foreigners the French have been able to drive out are American tourists?

Time flies. It's up to you to be the navigator.

A toast to the weapons of war, may they rust in peace.