Happiness is a very small desk and a very big wastebasket.

When we laugh we temporarily give ourselves over to the person who makes us laugh.

Sometimes I get the feeling the whole world is against me, but deep down I know that's not true. Some of the smaller countries are neutral.

To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so.

These detective series on TV always end at precisely the right moment-after the criminal is arrested and before the court turns him loose.

Humor starts like a wildfire, but then continues on, smoldering, smoldering for years.

Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.