Happiness is a very small desk and a very big wastebasket.

These detective series on TV always end at precisely the right moment-after the criminal is arrested and before the court turns him loose.

For Father's Day, my kids always give me a bottle of cologne called English Leather. It's appropriate! To them I always smell like a wallet.

An economist is someone who knows all the answers to last years' questions.

With my luck, if I ever invested in General Motors, they'd bust it to Corporal!

Sociologists say that going to the movies is a bonding experience. It probably has to do with the way you feet stick to the floor.

Happiness is contagious. Be a carrier!!