Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.

I always wondered why babies spend so much time sucking their thumbs. Then I tasted baby food.

Planned obsolescence is not really a new concept. God used it with people.

Remember the days when you let your child have some chocolate if he finished his cereal? Now, chocolate is one of the cereals.

What bothers me about TV is that it tends to take our minds off our minds.

Faith, indeed, has up to the present not been able to move real mountains.... But it can put mountains where there are none. Most people would like to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch.

The chance to be seen as a warm, witty guy is too good an opportunity for a politician to miss.