Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.

I always wondered why babies spend so much time sucking their thumbs. Then I tasted baby food.

A sigh is an amplifier for people who suffer in silence.

My wife never lies about her age. She just tells everyone she's as old as I am. Then she lies about my age.

Faith, indeed, has up to the present not been able to move real mountains.... But it can put mountains where there are none. Most people would like to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch.

Did you ever get to wondering if taxation without representation might have been cheaper?

The best birthdays of all are those that haven't arrived yet.