I asked my old man if I could go ice-skating on the lake. He told me, "Wait til it gets warmer."

With my doctor, I don't get no respect. I told him I want a vasectomy. He said with a face like mine, I don't need one.

My wife a great driver, she once hit a deer. It was in a zoo. There is a pair of shoes on the dashboard. They belong to the last guy she hit

My cousin is gay, I always tell him that in our family tree, he's in the fruit section.

I asked him "Who said you could fool around with my wife" he said everybody.

I walked in on my wife and the milkman, the first thing she says is "don't tell the butcher"!

I had a date with an inflatable girl. Now I got an inflatable guy looking for me.