I asked my old man if I could go ice-skating on the lake. He told me, "Wait til it gets warmer."

Man, who don't like spaghetti?

I bought a perfect second car... a tow truck.

One time I went to a hotel. I asked the bellhop to handle my bag. He felt up my wife!

I went to a freak show and they let me in for nothing.

I walked in on my wife and the milkman, the first thing she says is "don't tell the butcher"!

Me and my dad used to play tag, he'd drive!