I went to a freak show and they let me in for nothing.

I get no respect... I tell you, when I was born, the doctor smacked my mother

My car broke down just the other day, I called triple A, they came and towed me away!

She failed her drivers test. She couldn't get used to the front seat. It took her four lessons to learn to sit up.

He found a new way to cover up his bad breath. He holds up his arms.

We lived in a neighborhood that was too rich for us. When I was young, I had to deliver groceries to the homes of the kids I went to school with. I had to go to the back doors to make the deliveries. It was embarrassing. That was one thing out of a hundred.

One day as I came home early, I saw a man jogging naked. I said to the guy, 'Hey, buddy, why are you doing that?' He said, 'Because you came home early.'