I walked in on my wife and the milkman, the first thing she says is "don't tell the butcher"!

My wife and I have Olympic sex. Once every four years.

I knew a girl so ugly, she had a face like a saint-a Saint Bernard!

We were poor. we were so poor, in my neighborhood the rainbow was in black-and-white.

My wife made me join a bridge club... I jump off next Tuesday.

I'm not a hypochondriac, but my gynaecologist firmly believes I am.

My kid wants to be a prison warden when he grows up so he can put thumb tacks on the electric chairs.