You don't know who to believe. Like Abraham Lincoln. He said all men were created equal. He never went to a nude beach.

I once had a problem ... so I tried group sex. Now I have a new problem - who to thank.

Getting older is tough. I remember the last time I felt an erection. It was at the movies. The only trouble is, it belonged to the guy sitting next to me.

You can name your own salary in this business. I call mine Fred.

I walked in on my wife and the milkman, the first thing she says is "don't tell the butcher"!

I told my doctor I got water on my knee, he gave me a sponge and raised his fee!

At Christmas time I sat on Santa's lap. His fly was open ! Boy what a present he gave me !