I told my doctor I got water on my knee, he gave me a sponge and raised his fee!

After I got divorced, I said to myself, I will never, ever get married again. It was in cement. I went through a really rough twenty-five years, but it happened again. I fell in love. I told her, Baby, I don't want a prenuptial agreement. This is it. Everyone told me I was nuts. Well, my new wife and I are married six years and we get along great. You can make anything work if you're both givers.

I told my doctor I got water on my knee, he gave me a sponge and raised his fee!

Group sex, are you kidding, I had group sex - my wife screwed in front of the jury.

I tell ya, with my wife, I got no sex life. Her favorite position is facing Bloomingdale's.

My cousin is gay, I always tell him that in our family tree, he's in the fruit section.

You know you're old when your family talk about you in front of you. What are we going to do with Pop? We have company tonight.