People ask if I can get it up in the morning. I tell them are you kidding I'm envious of a stiff wind.
Rodney DangerfieldMy cousin is gay, I always tell him that in our family tree, he's in the fruit section.
Rodney DangerfieldMy kid wants to be a prison warden when he grows up so he can put thumb tacks on the electric chairs.
Rodney Dangerfield