I once had a problem ... so I tried group sex. Now I have a new problem - who to thank.

My cousin is gay, I always tell him that in our family tree, he's in the fruit section.

With my old man I got no respect. When he took me hunting he gave me a three minute head start. Then on the way home he tied me to the fender and put the deer in the car.

Group sex, are you kidding, I had group sex - my wife screwed in front of the jury.

I live in a tough neighborhood. They got a children's zoo. Last week, four kids escaped.

I know I'm not sexy. In high school I was voted Most Likely to Masturbate.

Oh, when I was a kid in show business I was poor. I used to go to orgies to eat the grapes.