I tell ya, I know the best way to get girls. I hang out at women's prisons, and wait for parolees.

I asked my old man if I could go ice-skating on the lake. He told me, "Wait til it gets warmer."

She was so fat that her belly button makes an echo.

A man in the crowd asks: Hey Rodney, how'd you get started? Rodney: I was 12 years old, alone in my room, and I got started!

I live in a bad neighborhood. Why, I saw two complete strangers share a taxi - yeah, one guy took the radio and the other guy took the tires.

Do ya remember the first time you had sex? I do, and boy, was I scared! I was alone!

Don't talk about yourself so much...we'll do that when you leave.