People seldom live up to their baby pictures.
I can't get no respect.
I've been writing jokes since I'm fifteen. Not out of happiness, but to go to a different place, because reality wasn't good to me.
Life is full of temporary situations, ultimately ending in a permanent solution.
What a childhood I had. My parents sent me to a child psychiatrist. The kid didn't help me at all.
Sure I smoked pot in hospital. My wife won't let me toke at home.