My mother used to rock me - and she used big rocks.

I'm at an age where I think more about food than I do about sex. Last week I put a mirror over my dining room table.

I'm tellin' ya I get no respect. When I was in Switzerland, I got an obscene yodel.

My wife had her drivers’ test the other day. She got 8 out of 10. The other 2 guys jumped clear.

Look out for number one and try not to step in number two.

I went to a gay bar, they wanted proof of sex so I showed them, they said it wasn't enough.

She was so fat that her belly button makes an echo.