Getting older is tough. I remember the last time I felt an erection. It was at the movies. The only trouble is, it belonged to the guy sitting next to me.
They change the sheets every day... from one bed to another.
People seldom live up to their baby pictures.
I come from a stupid family. My father worked in a bank. They caught him stealing pens.
When I was a kid I got no respect. My mother breast fed me through a straw.
I have tried a little kinky stuff. A woman called me and said, 'I have mirrors all over my bedroom. Bring a bottle.' I brought Windex.