My mother used to rock me - and she used big rocks.

I say 'no' to drugs. Whenever someone asks me for some of my drugs I say, 'no.

People ask if I can get it up in the morning. I tell them are you kidding I'm envious of a stiff wind.

I'm at the age where I want two girls. In case I fall asleep they will have someone to talk to.

I tell ya when I fly, I don't get no respect. I took one of those cheap flights, no frills. I finished eatin' and had to do the dishes.

I've never been lucky. The day my ship came in, I was at the airport.

At Christmas time I sat on Santa's lap. His fly was open ! Boy what a present he gave me !