I tell ya, I was an ugly kid. I was so ugly that my dad kept the kid's picture that came with the wallet he bought.
Rodney DangerfieldAt Christmas time I sat on Santa's lap. His fly was open ! Boy what a present he gave me !
Rodney DangerfieldI have nothing but troubles with my car. Every Sunday I take my family out for a push.
Rodney DangerfieldI feel sorry for short people, you know. When it rains, they're the last to know.
Rodney Dangerfield