I drink too much, way too much; my doctor drew blood he ran a tab!
She was so fat that her clothes are made by Omar the tent maker.
I was making love to this girl and she started crying. I said, "Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?" She said, "No, I hate myself now."
My wife has to be the worst cook. In my house, we pray after we eat.
It would be great if people never got angry at someone for doing something they've done themselves.
Everyone says that looks don't matter, age doesn't matter, money doesn't matter. But i never met a girl yet who has fallen in love with an old ugly man who's broke.