My golf game is getting real good. Last week, I got through the windmill.

If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so is ugliness.

I once went out with this wild girl. She made French toast and got her tongue caught in the toaster.

I'm sitting on top of the world, and I've got hemorrhoids.

We learned sexual technique from our dog. He taught how to beg, and he taught my wife how to roll over and play dead.

I once asked a policeman how far it was to the subway. he said, "I don't know, no one has ever made it".

You take care and I hope I'll run into you - when I'm driving.