My golf game is getting real good. Last week, I got through the windmill.

I've learned to control everything. I don't get angry at anything. Somebody can do me wrong. That's life. What good is it to get angry?

When I was kidnapped as a child my parents sent a letter to the hijackers me Pay 5,000 dollars or your back

I went to look for a used car and found my wife's dress in the back seat.

It's great to have gray hair. Ask anyone who's bald.

Getting older is tough. I remember the last time I felt an erection. It was at the movies. The only trouble is, it belonged to the guy sitting next to me.

In the school I went to, they asked a kid to prove the law of gravity and he threw the teacher out of the window.